Bryce's Injury

So Bryce got his leg smashed in at work today by a forklift full of cement. He did not break any bones, which would surprise me if it were anyone else.

Bryce is "The Thing."

Once, I saw Bryce get frustrated with the lack of progress that he and several other guys were having pushing a car out of a snowy ditch. He kind of went into pissed robot mode and when everyone else was standing there he picked up the back end of the car and put it back on the road. Like 'I can't believe I had to use energy' kind of pissed.

David Sedaris

For Father's Day, Danielle got me the audio book, "When You Are Engulfed in Flames" by one of my favorite authors, David Sedaris.
I like David Sedaris for the following reasons:

• His books are collections of quickly read short essays, which makes me feel smart.
• His topics are autobiographical and usually about his odd family and his odd childhood
• He is painfully honest and mercilessly self deprecating
• His stories are hilarious and then he catches you off guard with some poignant notion that he had been planting and you did not see coming

If you have not read any of his books, go get "Me Talk Pretty One Day."

Boy's Afternoon Out

Bear and I went to see the new Hulk movie. Then we grabbed some food. Spoiler: the Hulk wins.

New Glasses

My most recent pair of glasses was stepped on a couple years ago (by a bathroom-training boy walking around on the bathroom counter checking his rear in the mirror), and the pair before that sits at the bottom of Lake Pasquali. So the pair I have been wearing for the last couple years is a prescription from 1998. This horrified the eye doctor.

They gave me eyedrops that "paralyzed" some muscle that contracts my iris. So my pupils are the size of manhole covers and I look like a raccoon.

Meanwhile, Danielle tried on a pointedly ironic shirt.

Jordan's Open House

The White Whale

So today, the Nelsons added this land yacht to their fleet. It just made sense for a lot of reasons:

• We needed a new car
• It gets 27 highway miles to the gallon
  
• Seats 17 adults comfortably, including our whole family
• It feels like I am sailing a powerful couch
  
• Eight cylinders of punishing Detroit muscle
• Dangerously high safety ratings
  
• Consumers Report "Best Bet" for reliability
• The Burt in me gained controlled my mind
  
• Decadent luxury (it shaves me and feeds me cereal as it drives itself)
• Excellent per-pound cost
  

Six years ago, this car was pushing $50k. We got it for under $7k.

Here is the average mileage I got on the way home. It was still creeping up when I stopped.

At the Ol' Office

Hanging in the Yard

Tee-Ball Begins

As mentioned in a previous entry, Danielle (pictured above; pregnant) has signed Bear up for all sorts of summer activities.
Here is Bear chucking something during his first Tee-Ball practice. He dreaded it because he wanted 'real throwing' baseball without the humiliating tee, but he really seemed to like it once he got there.

Willow ranged from very supportive to oblivious.

Here is that picture of Danielle again.

Father's Day

It was a good father's day. We spent the day at the Pasquali's lake, which is called Lake Pasquali. There was swimming, fishing, lounging, and eating. It ruled. Also, mom Susie sent a Highland House Greek Salad home with me, which is what I would order as my last meal on death row.

We cruised the lake in the pontoon boat. Willow co-piloted.

Dean taught Bear how to swim...

...and Bear taught Dean how to sink.