I found this ad on lansing's craiglslist...
this guy also has a blog- http://north.geeklair.net/
Holy crap, people, is this wood or WHAT!??!
About 14 2-3' logs, lovingly hand-crafted from some branches of a maple tree that was dropping stuff on my driveway. These logs were cut from a tree that, so far as I know, was not growing over an Indian burial ground. This means that you can rest assured that the wood is not particularly likely to be haunted by the vengeful spirits of dead warriors*!!! Can the big retailers with their fancy designer wood make THAT vague claim? NOT ON YOUR LIFE!
This wood is maple, which means it probably tastes just like delicious syrup. It's perfect for:
- funeral/heretic pyres
- painstakingly carving thousands of disturbing figurines
- ingenious Ewok traps for dispatching Imperial stormtroopers/AT-ST walkers
- unwieldy paperweights
- ballast
- fireplaces, I guess
- miniature or proof-of-concept log cabins
- vampire stakes
Furthermore, this pile of wood is available to you, the consumer, at no cost! That's right - we screw the other guy and pass the savings on to YOU!!!!
But act now - this wood is NATURALLY BIODEGRADABLE and won't last long**!!!! Just email ben@geeklair.net and this sweet, precious wood can be YOURS!
4 comments:
Are you sure you didn't write that? Maybe you do have a twin out there!........c.
If you liked that then may I suggest www.adoptabunny.org. I was researching bunny adoption because Kadence desperately wants a pet and came acrossed this somewhat insane and ridiculously funny freak of nature getting rid of bunnies. He also may be closely related to you.
We looked at his blog and i think he is a John clone. At least i know i have a replacement....he brews beer, makes cheese, and likes toy helicopters.
We are very close to sending him an email...."hi, would you please send us a photo of yourself and your home address? p.s. would you be our friend?!"
do you think it would go over well? maybe we should just pick up the firewood for an opportunity to meet him.
I'm thinking about getting free wood from this guy even though I don't need it. It does seem like he has the John Nelson gift of being able to make you laugh about anything.
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